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The 2024 International Women’s Farting competition was fastly coming to a close. In Conference 1, the conference that consisted of North America, South America, and Europe, Team USA was preparing to play their possible final opponent, Team Great Britain, a team that had just got done absolutely demolishing Team France and Team Brazil, which were 2 IWFC juggernauts, both having 4 IWFC titles each. This game was important, because if Team USA won it, they’d be awarded a 3 day break advance to the 2024 IWFC championship against whoever came out of conference 2. Team GB was absolutely stacked, due to them really being 4 countries all packaged into 1, super dominant, farting coalition.
In Conference 2, which consisted of Asia, Africa, and Oceania, Team Nigeria was preparing to fart against Team Japan. Nigeria is a well respected and solid farting program, but Team Japan was a well oiled machine, and a force to be reckoned with on the fart floor. Japan had 2 IWFC titles and were pioneers when it came to in game tactics and fart strategies. But similar to Team USA, Team Japan has not won a championship in over 20 years, and were fighting to get back to the IWFC mountaintop…
—
July 9th, 2024
12:00 PM
Team USA Bus
—
“That game against Team Mexico was rough, we could have very easily lost if it wasn’t for Villalobos passing out due to my farts!” Said Thunderhawk.
“Yeah she was a problem… I’m gonna have nightmares about smelling her farts for the next decade.” said Diaz.
“Coach should’ve just put me in first instead of Thunder!” Yelled Serafina from the front of the bus. “Guarantee I would’ve had her ass dealt with in only 5 seconds of the match starting!”
“Ahhh can you fucking hear yourself right now?! You sound so arrogant! Going around, thinking that you’re better than everyone else…” Said Giodano from the back of the bus.
“But I am better than everyone else, at farting at least! What’s your point here, Becky?” Said Serafina.
“Just stop acting all full of yourself that’s all!” Said Giordano, annoyed
“You HATE me cuz you AIN’T me.” Serafina said, as she flipped her hair to the side.
“Who would ever wanna be you? Your body’s built like the fucking bus we’re sitting on for crying out loud! I mean, we literally go 20 miles per hour slower whenever you’re on this fucking thing!” Yelled Giordano.
“Hehe… she got her ass there” Chuckled Diaz under her breath.
“ALRIGHT Y’ALL! Quit your yappin and listen up!” Exclaimed Coach Todd. “Team Great Britain just beat Brazil, which means we’ll be playing them in the conference finals!”
“…coach, you’re telling me Team Great Britain just BEAT Brazil?!?” Questioned Thunderhawk, nervously.
“Yes, they beat fucking Brazil! I’m telling y’all, they ain’t fucking around this year!” Exclaimed Coach Todd.
“Wait, umm… like… isn’t Brazil like heavily favored to win it this year?” Asked Diaz.
“Yes! And they fucking beat them! I told y’all! They. Ain’t. Fucking. Around!”
“Wait, coach, I have a question!” Said Johnson, politely raising her hand.
“(Sigh) what is it, Johnson.”
“How come the coach for Team Mexico kept shouting ‘Pedo!’ during the match yesterday?”
Coach Todd slowly lowered her head onto her hand, annoyed, and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. “It means “fart” in Spanish, honey…”
“Ohhhhhh!” Said Johnson. “I thought it had something to do with… well… Y’know…”
“Oh my god, EWWW!” Said Jimenez standing up out of her seat.
“Why would he even say that? Why would he even have a reason to be fucking saying that?!” Exclaimed Diaz. “You’re disgusting!”
Giordano, sitting next to Johnson lightly smacked her in the arm. “Do you only exist to say stupid shit? Do you? Please answer me.”
“You know what? On second thought… gimme your hair!” Said Giordano.
“My hair?” Asked Johnson.
Giordano stood up. “Yes, your hair! Give it to me!”
“Umm… alright…” Johnson said, as she leaned towards Giordano.
Giordano grabbed her by her long blonde hair, and forced out a nice, long fart right in her nostrils.
BBBBBRRRRRRRUUUUUUUMMMMMMP!
“Oh my god! Gross, Becky!” Wailed Johnson. “(Aaaccck!) it smells like (Bleech!) boiled eggs!”
“Next time you say some stupid shit, expect to be ripped on! Got that, doofus?!” Said Giordano, throwing Johnson’s head out of her buttcheeks.
“Alright now! Can we please get back to what I was saying, ladies?” Said Coach. “As I was saying, we got Great Britain, it might be our toughest matchup yet!”
“Well, we’ll give ’em a good ‘ol fashioned American beat down! Those smug, crumpet eating fucks!” Said Giordano.
“Nah, fuck an American beat down… put ME in this match coach, and I’ll give ’em a hard, Texas beat down!” Said Johnson, pounding her hand into her fist.
“(Scoff), hey guys! The rookie actually thinks she’s going in this round! This fuckin gal right here, am I right?” Laughed Giordano.
“Alright, alright Giordano, lay off her now, please. You already farted in the poor girl’s face just a few moments onikişubat escort ago! We need all the positive, motivational energy we can get going into this match!” Said Coach.
“Yeah! Lay off her! You trashy New Jersey bitch!” Screamed Serafina from the front of the bus, giggling to herself.
“Excuuuuuse me?” Said Giordano, rising up from her seat to face Serafina. “How dare you insult me like that? You know I’m from Queens!”
“Who gives a shit? New York, New Jersey or where ever the fuck you from is a rat infested shithole anyway, hoe!” Yelled Serafina.
“You really know how to push my fuckin buttons, huh? Well guess what? I’m coming up there to pay your big, fat, Tyler Perry Madea built-ass a fuckin visit!” Said Giordano, as she angrily shoved Johnson out of her way.
“Ouch! Jesus… the least you can say is excuse me!” Whined Johnson.
“…And the least YOU can do is contribute to this motherfucking team, you bible-belt blonde bimbo!” Retorted Giordano.
“Why are you always so mean to me?” Said Johnson. “Did I say something to offend you in the past? If I did, I’m sorry! I swear!”
“Alright, now you’re crossing the line! Sit back down this instant Rebecca Giordano!” Said Coach Todd.
“No! Shouted Giordano back. “Apparently Serafina wants to fuck around and find out! Well guess what? She’s about to find out!”
Giordano stomped to the front of the bus, heavily exhaling out of her nose. She approached Serafina and turned around, and ripped an extremely long, airy, fart.
Rrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrriiiiiiiiiiip
“That fart was for you, tubby!” Said Giordano.
Serafina deeply inhaled her fart. “(Sniff, sniiiiifff) Hmmm. You had boiled eggs this morning… and… (sniiiifff) a few cups of coffee. That’s good fart fuel.”
“Sooooo… you just gonna stand there and sniff it, dumbass?” Said Giordano. “You gonna do sumn’? Huh? HUH?!”
Serafina remained silent, turning her head towards the window and crossing her legs.
“…Uh, hello? Earth to Serafina! You still with me, cunt?”
She continued to stare out the window.
“Fucking do something, you bitch!”
“…”
“Y’know you’re being really weird right now, like really weird…”
“…”
“You’re not funny. W-what you’re doing right now isn’t funny!”
“…”
“Alright! C-cut it out! J-just say something! Do something! Fuck!” She said, trying to mask her growing uneasiness.
Serafina slowly uncrossed her legs, and veered her head towards Giordano, looking her dead in her eyes. “…I hope you like ass…”
Giordano shook her head in confusion. “What?”
“…well, I just hope you like ass…” Repeared Serafina.
“Ass?”
“…SERAFINA WIND’S ASS!!!”
Suddenly Serafina jumped out of her seat and pinned Giordano to the ground. She then turned around and sat her extremely large ass right onto her chest.
FRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPTTTSSSSSSSSFLPFLPUUURRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSSS!
“AAAAAHHHHH!! Get off of me! Get your gargantuan ass off of meeeee!!!!” Screeched Giordano.
“TAKE A WHIFF OF THE WIND FARM, MOTHAFUCKA!!” Screamed Serafina.
“NOOOOOO!!! PLEEEEASSSE!!!”
RRRRRRAAABBBBLLLLLT
“JUST GET OFF MY CHEST!!! I’M LOSIN’ AIR HERE!!!”
“You said you want me to sit on your face? Ok!” Serafina got up, and duck walked backwards towards Giordano’s face, plopping her full weight onto her face. Giordano’s ear piercing, muffled screams were drowned out by her loud farts.
RRRRRBBBLLLLAAAAAAAAATTT!
“MMMMMPPPHHHH!! MMMMPPHH!” She screamed under the weight of her ass
“Jesus! Your nose is sharp as fuck! Feels like I’m shoving a shark tooth up my bootyhole!” Said Serafina.
“Oh my god! Coach, should we go help her?” Said Johnson.
“Yeah, I think she’s really suffocating!” Said Thunderhawk.
“Ehhh, a little frontier justice won’t hurt…” replied coach Todd, as she stood back and watched, smiling.
“NNNNNMMMMPPPPHHH!” Giordano screamed.
“No fucking waaaaay dude! I gotta post this to my TikTok!” Said Jimenez, grabbing her phone and walking to the front of the bus.
“Tell me how this one tastes!”
puuuuUUUUURRRtlptlptlptltpltlp…
“MMMMMMMPPPPHHHHH!”
“Are you saying “mmmmmhhhh?” You tellin’ me you like it?” Said Serafina. “Well ok, here’s another!”
RRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMFFFFF!
“MMMMMPPPPHHH!” Screamed Giordano, now pounding her fist on Serafina’s left hip.
“Daaaaamn Becky!” Said Jimenez, filming. “You were talking all that shit just a minute ago! All bark, no bite, huh? My followers are gonna loooove this!”
FFFFFFRRRRRRRMMMMMMMPPP!
“NNNGGGGGMMMPPHHHNNN!!”
“HAHAHAHA! Get her ass Serafina! Fart on that hoe’s face!”
Giordano’s legs began to flail frantically in the air. Her screams, still muffled by Serafina’s ass, became more violent, as she continuously slapped Serafina on her side. Jimenez continued to laugh and film, until she noticed something quite peculiar on Pre-game sweatpants.
“HAHAHAHA, keep farting, ‘Fina! Keep–wait what the fuck?”
Jimenez ordu escort walked in to get a closer look at Giordano.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! ‘Fina get up! Get up!” She said, tapping Serafina on her shoulder.
“OH. MY. GOD.” Said Serafina, shocked and amused, as she finally looked down at Giordano’s crotch.
Jimenez pointed and laughed at Giordano. “Look! She fucking pissed herself!! No fucking way!! HAHAHAHAAAAAA!” Jimenez said.
“Wait, what the hell happened?” Diaz said, jogging over there.
Thunderhawk quickly got out if her seat. “Wait up, I wanna see too!” She said, running over.
“Why can’t we just all get along and be a normal fart team?” Johnson thought in her mind.
Giordano, as she stood up, looked down and noticed a Lake Michigan-sized stain on her crotch and a Pacific Ocean sized puddle of pee on the floor where she was laying down. She desperately tried to hide the large stain on her pants with her hands.
“Wheeew, it stinks over here! Thunderhawk said, as she fanned the air around her. “Holy shit, and there’s piss everywhere!” She said, noticing the giant puddle.
“I guess Miss piss had one too many coffees this morning! PfffffHAHAHAHAAAAA!” Laughed Diaz. “I gotta take a picture of this!” She said, as she pulled out her phone to snap a quick picture.
Giordano, mortified, became enraged. “I TOLD YOU GUYS THAT I NEEDED FUCKING HELP GETTING SERAFINA’S GIGANTIC JUPITER SIZED ASS OFF OF ME! IDIOTS!” She said, her cheeks reddening more and more with pure embarrassment.
“Hell nah, it was too fuckin funny to see you get sat on!” Said Jimenez.
“Don’t you mean SHAT on?” Said Diaz, nudging Jimenez. The two of them began laughing even more.
“FUCK YOU!” Wailed Giordano, as she walked back to sit down.
“Oh please! Quit your fucking bellowing Giordano! We got a damn CONFERENCE FINALS TO WIN!” Yelled Coach Todd. “Now everyone, put your phones away and get back to y’all’s fucking seats!”
The girls all put away their phones and drug their feet back to their seats.
“…And Giordano, once we get to the stadium, go to the bathroom and clean up all that piss before the match if you don’t mind?” Said Coach.
“Serves her right, I guess.” Johnson thought in her head, as she watched Giordano sit down.
—
1:00 PM
IWFC Stadium
—
The team got ready in the locker room. They could hear the stadium crowd already wailing and chanting “TEAM GB! TEAM GB!” from afar. This had been the farthest any of them except for Coach Todd had been in the IWFC, ever. All girls were on edge, worried that all of their hard work and training for this moment could all be for nothing if they lost this 1 match. The other team winning 1 match, or even just 2 out of the 3 rounds in the match could mean elimination, and another year of obsessive grinding and practice all to get back to this 1 moment– the IWFC conference Finals.
“Listen up. Team GB is stacked, and is on a historic run this year.” Said Coach Todd. “They got 3, really good Farters. Those Farters being Shelly Thornton, Veena Yadav, And the one and only, the Scottish Satan herself, May McGillivray. All of them are dangerous and can rip some absolute bombs!”
“All of them? How?” Asked Johnson.
“The British have a very… “unique” diet… they eat a lot of mushy, weird, odd foods that absolutely wreak havoc on their digestive system, as well as causing a whole lotta farting as well.
“What foods?” Asked Thunderhawk.
“Beans, peas, black pudding, cheese, bangers and mash, fish and chips, a variety of gross looking stews, and don’t forget all the junk food as well. Their diet is actually lot like ours but minus all the actually good tasting food.” Explained Coach Todd.
“Black pudding? Bangers and mash? What the fuck?” Said Jimenez. “why doesn’t any of their food sound appetizing?”
“I dunno, ask them.” Replied Coach Todd. “Those damn Redcoats colonized the whole world for it’s resources and willingly choose to eat beans on toast every morning. Anyways, I think it’s time we head out the tunnel.”
The whole team got up and trotted out the tunnel. As soon as they got through the entrance to the stadium floor, they were bombarded with boos from the opposing Team GB crowd.
“BOO!!! YOU YANKS CAN SUCK IT!”
“BOOOOOO!!! TEAM CANADA OWNS YOU LOT!!!”
“FILTHY WANKUUUHHS!”
“HEY AMERICAN!! CATCH THIS!!” A fan said, as he chucked a half-empty beer can at Serafina’s head.
(CLANK!)
“Ouch! Who the fuck through that!? Don’t make me climb up there and whoop your ass!” Yelled Serafina, as she looked up to see who threw it at her.
(CLANK!)
Another beer can was thrown, this time hitting Johnson. “Ow ow ow ow!” She said holding the top of her head.
“There’s more where that came from yanks!”
Suddenly, a flurry of beer cans, food trays, and crumpled cup napkins started to be pelted at everyone on the team. They all covered there heads, and bolted to the team benches, as the boos of the crowd got more intense.
“BOOOOO!!! YOU BETTER HIGH TAIL örnekköy escort IT OUTTA HERE, TWATS!!”
“WE’RE ABOUT TO MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU MUPPETS!!! RULE BRITANNIA!!!”
—
“Can each side please send out their Farters?” Said the fart Judge.
“Ummm… let’s see…” Coach Todd mumbled to herself. “Umm… Jimenez!” Go lead off this match!”
“You got it.” She said as she popped up out of her seat.
“Team GB! Please send out your farter! Team GB! Send out your farter! We’re already running late on time!” Said the judge.
“McGillivray! I told you to get your arse out there minutes ago! Now go!” Yelled the coach of Team GB.
“Awww haud yer wheesht! I was just havin’ a quick swig!” She said, putting her bottle of water down on the floor. “Don’t tell me what the fuck to do, Englishman!”
“Ugggghh! Just go out there, will you?” Said the coach.
The GB fans cheered her on as she walked into the fart square. “GIVE THOSE UNCIVILIZED AMERICANS HELL, LASS!” Said a fan.
Jimenez looked behind her to see McGillivray walking towards her. She crossed her arms, and looked her up and down.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer, Americunt!” she said, as she violently grabbed her crotch area with her hand. “Ready to get fuckin’ beat?”
“Who even are you?”
“May FUCKING McGillivray!”
—
Farter Profile: May McGillivray (Captain of Team GB 🇬🇧)
Age: 25
Race/Ethnicity: White/Caucasian (Scottish 🏴)
Physical Appearance: 5’6, 125 lbs, long, messy, unkempt red hair, light blue eyes, extremely pale skin, gangly/skinny figure
Hometown: Inverness, Scotland, United Kingdom
Achievements: 4x Scotland Fart Champion (2018, 2020, 2021, 2023), 2x United Kingdom Fart champion (2021, 2023) 1x UK fart runner up (2020), farts have allegedly broken glass, farts can be heard from 1 mile away, sound of farts have caused brief deafness to recipients
Fart speciality: sound, smell, force
Nickname: Scotland’s smelliest
—
McGillivray rubbed in between her buttcheeks deeply and ran her fingers on her nose. “Oh that smells fuckin goooood!”
“Euuuggggh! You’re naaaaasty!” Said Jimenez, backing away from her.
“What’s wrong with enjoyin yer own cooking?” She said, as she continued to sniff her finger’s shitty scent “want a whiff? Smells like the Scottish highlands!” She said, as she moved her fingers closer to Jimenez’s face.
“Get those things away from me! Fucking freak!” Screeched Jimenez.
“Hey, Miss! Get back in the square! Match is about to start!” Said the judge.
Jimenez begrudgingly walked back in “Ugggh! Fiiiine!”
“On your marks…”
“…Get set…”
“FA-
THHHHHRRRIIIMP!
“(Blech!)” Gagged the judge. “Alright, which one of you ladies ripped that one? I wasn’t ready yet!”
“Guilty! Hehehe..” giggled McGillivray, as she raised her hand.
“Well can you at least wait to start ripping ass, until I’m finished saying fart?” Said the judge.
PFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRUUUUIIIIIMPPP!
The fart judge gagged more at the intense, strong smell of her farts. “(Haaaaaccck!) I didn’t mean when I literally (Bleeechhh!)said– (cough!) you know what? Just fart. I don’t care!”
“Alright mate! You don’t gotta tell me twice!”
PPPPPPFFFFFFFRRRRRRIIIIMMP!
“Wheeeewww! Smell that fresh mornin’ air!” Said McGillivray, fanning her stench up towards her nose. “(sniiiiifff) awww, that’s boggin’! That black pudding and those beans are really havin a go at each other in my wee little stomach! (Sniiiiiiiiiff) aww I can almost taste it! Fuck yeah! (Sniiiiff)”
Jimenez covered her mouth, as McGillivray’s stench wafted up towards her mouth. “Oh god, (eeeuuuugggh!) I can taste it! It’s so warm!”
“JIMENEZ!?? THE HELL YOU DOING OUT THERE?! START FARTING!!!” Screamed coach.
“Should’ve put me in coach instead of her… swear I would’ve farted up a fucking storm all up in that bitch’s face by now.” Giordano said, crossing her arms.
“Maybe she’ll consider you once you stop peeing your pants on the bus, miss piss!” Said Diaz.
“Aye why don’t you put a sock in it already, ya fuckin treesh!” Snapped Giordano. “I couldn’t control it!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Calm down, Becky! We don’t want you to get *pissed* off again!” Said Serafina.
“Teehehehe! Good one!” Laughed Johnson.
“The HELL you laughing at, rookie?” Giordano said, as she got up from her seat to face her.
“Ummmm…. ummmm… I…” stammered Johnson.
Serafina stood up, and confronted Giordano. “REBECCA, SIT DOWN! NOW!” She demanded.
Giordano violently whipped her head around to face Serafina behind her. “Excuse me? You talking to me, bitch?”
“Yeah I’m talking to you, lemonade lake! Sit the fuck down! Don’t make me come over there and fart on your fucking face again, Pinocchio nose!”
Giordano, embarrassingly touched her nose. “leave my damn nose out of this!”
“Why? The shit kept poking me in my asshole when I was farting on your face! Thought you was telling lies or some shit!” Said Serafina.
Giordano angrily sat back down on her chair, her arms crossed even harder than before.
FFFFFLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBLLLLTTT!
“Ahhh, that one was MIGHTY! (Sniiiiiiiiff) oh, and it smells DELIGHTY!” Said McGillivray, sniffing her disgusting, rotten, dirty black pudding and beans air.
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